| Dawn over a new day. |
[Apr. 10th, 2006|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
Before I even try to talk about my weekend I need to find a song so I actually feel like doing it.....wow first random worked, thank you Billy Joel - Lullabye, next and relaxing so it works for me.
It's weird, I know only of one person who reads this yet I'm trying to leave it open incase another strolls my way. Another regular weekend, one night out, 2 nights in. It was a mixed bag to say the least. Some high points and your regular low points. High points were of course seeing my friends and just having a good time. The low parts were with a few people I ran into and talked to. They were in need and of course I felt obligated to help them all....big mistake. Figures I'm worth talking to when they need something fixed. I'll be damned if they just want a normal chat or anything of that nature, not even a thank you un till I made a joke about it.
:::Shuffle..you treat me so bad..throwing this not inspirational song at me:::
So ya, at first I wondered if it was something with me. At times I feel I come on as way too nice that people see that and know they can put me on the side and I would still be there if they need me. It might sound stupid but the more I met the more I believe that to be true. Being a friend is great but at times I get tired of being second best or just a person to lean on.
The rest of my day was spent talking to my oldest bro and watching my roommates finish their challenge ( who could go the longest without eating. I think it started on friday ). I also got a few companies calling me that I need to get back to. I really hope I get a job so I can relax and just take things as they come. Nice to have some real money too. I want to go out to places, enjoy times out and just be able to treat someone to a nice dinner and the like. I actually hate money but I've realized that going against it won't do anything for me in the future.
Goals for the week: Finish off my classes strong so I have nothing to worry about for the weekend.
Get back to those companies and try to get interviews
Find people to spend the night with me talking ( cause it gets damn lonely at 3:40am )
Download some more orchestrated music to listen to at night.
I want to delete everything I wrote, I feel really vulnerable but I guess I can't live in a shell forever. Maybe if I get the courage I'll post somethings I have wrote in the past. |
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| It all started somewhere... |
[Apr. 7th, 2006|01:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
A mere twist of fate or a way to cure my insomnia I have yet again ventured onto the live journal website. Now let me state first off that this was not an independent decision. Unforseen forces were at work and beyond my control.
Now to try and update you on everything would seem a bit trival and long. Today and those to come are all that should concern you if you care all. Only a semester and a half and already I'm realizing I'm only seen a fragment of the possibilites I have before me. I used to believe that I could only live in CT. and everyday I realize that any place can be home with the right company. My belief in people has also faded over the years. Seems the ones I hold close only hold me back when they need it, when something is wrong and they don't know what to do. After The issue has been resolved I fade in the wind till the next storm hits their oh so troubled lives. Strangers are my new best friends. While going early to my flag football game a man was watching his son play and we went on to have a 30 min. conversation about anything and everything. Not once did this man bestow his beliefs or troubles on me. He talked for the pure joy of interacting with a fellow human-being and I shared this same belief. I apologize those close to me that do treat me fairly they mean more to me then I will admit to them or myself. I feel they need no introduction cause hopefully they know who they are.
If you become a daily reader you will pick up on a few things that might annoy you or make you curious. I hate talking about myself so most times I will cover up a lot of things or down play my achievements to take attention off me. I'm more concerned about you. Now I can't leave this on a bad note. I'm actually a really nice and talkative guy...just secretive and stubborn. |
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